Imagine growing up with a single mother who is working hard to try and provide for her family. Working two jobs at times just to make ends meet. You do not understanding why your mom has to work so much and wondering why your father isn't around to help out. Your father doesn't seemed to be to interested in your life. He always says that he hears about your accomplishments, but when you say I would like for you to come to my graduation he says "I can't promise you that I will make it." Of course, he doesn't make it to any of your graduations and you begin to wonder if maybe it's you. Why would a father want to miss his own son's graduation? Why is it that Black Men are neglecting to take on the responsiblity of taking care of their children?
My father is one lucky man for two reasons. Reason #1 He is blessed to have two beautiful children, my sister and myself. Many would kill to have two beautiful children, but he doesn't seem to care that much. Reason #2 He has never paid an ounce of child support to my mother. He is one of the many BLACK males who have neglected to take care of their responsibilities. He has never bought us a birthday or christmas gift, came to our graduations, or come to support us in any sporting activity that we have been involved in. Yep, you read it right my father is a dead beat dad. He was blessed that my mother never took him to court to get child support. He didn't have to take care of his responsibilities. His father (my grandfather) raised him, as a matter of fact he was blessed to grow up with both his parents. I don't remember much about my dad's father becuase he died when I was around 10 or 11, but I do know that he took care of his children. Why wasn't my father like his father? Why wouldn't my father want to be apart of my life? I have pondered this question many times. I still have no answer. I plan on asking him this one day when I speak to him, but who knows when that will be. I ask again, why are BLACK Men neglecting to take care of their children?
To most BLACK men its cool to just go out and screw many different women. They could care less who they are impregnating. It isn't even much of a concern. They don't care about taking care of their children. Yes, I know I am generalizing, but its the truth. How many of your black friends grew up in a single parent household? I can count on one hand my Black friends who grew up with both parents. It's pathetic that this is happening. When are Black people going to stop this cycle? It's not just the Black men it's also the women for accepting this behavior.
Many of our Black males are being raised without a positive male role model in their life. They can't turn to their fathers because often times they are in jail or on crack. I have shed some tears because my father wasn't around. I remember one day in high school he came to my football pratice when I was a freshman. I was shocked and surprised that he was there. He told me that he was proud of me and that he was going to come to my next game. I was so excited. I thought, finally my father will get to see me play football. Game day comes and I look in the stands throughout the game. I know my father is going to show up. He wouldn't lie to me. The game ends and my dad never shows up. I said to myself that I would never depend on him again. His word would no longer mean anything to me. I have never been so disappointed in my life. All I wanted was for him to see me play football. I wanted him to see his son in action. Was that too much to ask?
The sad thing about this is that I would still forgive my father now. I just would like him to say sorry and then we can move on. Besides I still have a whole lot of life to live. Growing up one of the few things I really ever wanted was to have a DAD! Maybe that's why I don't have a male role model. It's hard for me to look up to anyone. I do believe that if I ever have children that I will never treat them this way. I will be the best father in the world. Mark my words!!!
