So last night I...

So last night I wrote my dad a letter. It's actually the second letter I wrote him. The first one was a thank you letter for the birthday card he sent me. The actual first birthday card I can remember. It meant a lot to me. See its those little things that mean more than anything. People sometimes misconstrue what those who grew up without a father want from them. I think I speak for most when I say that most kids growing up only care about the little things. I never have demanded money or anything. Heck I knew he wasn't rich so I understood that i wouldn't be getting the finer things in life from him. All I wanted was someone to look up to and someone who loved me.

In the letter I just let him know what was going on in my life. It was like writing to a stranger. The even stranger part was addressing it to a prison. Oh well, everyone can't have Cliff Huxtable as a father. It makes me feel good though that we are having some form of communication. It's a line that needed to be opened and I can only wait and see what happens from there.

I have talked many times with many friends about our absent fathers. We joke about them being dead beats and worthless. Even resorting to calling them "sperm donors". Even though we are only joking one thing we all want is just someone who shows that they care.

If you listen to most older adults they will say that our generation is doing a great deal of damage to the black race. Well I have to disagree with them. I'm not saying we don't have our faults. I truly believe that the black race biggest problem began a generation before mines. That's when a number of black males abandoned their families. Many black families began to deteriorate and now a lot of us are going up in single parent homes. It's a tragedy but its the truth. With a larger number of us going to college and getting degrees hopefully we can change this fact.

My father gets out of jail in a month. I think him, my sister, and I will sit down and have a long discussion about many things. I told him I felt it was necessary. I guess I will have to wait to see if it happens. I am hoping for a better future with him. We both can't change the past and we need to move on.

I am America's Nightmare...

The Truth Game

Well I am going to play a game with you all. I am going to type out 10 things that I want to say to 10 various people. I will not identify who these friends are. I will leave it to y'all imagination on who I am talking to. I do want you to know that these are 10 things that I really do want to say to some of my friends. 10 different questions for 10 different people. Which one is for you?

1. Part of growing up is being able to step up and taking responsibility. That's one thing that you are lacking and it breaks my heart. You need to grow up and man up!

2. I have never told you how much I value our friendship. I actually am surprised at how close we are. I would have never imagined that you and I would be so cool. I consider you my true brother. I don't say that about many. My advice to you would be to follow your dreams. Many people don't do that and you could possibly live to regret not doing that.

3. I know that you value money and materialistic things, but I have to be honest with you. It doesn't mean everything to me. I believe that is one of your major flaws is trying to keep up with everyone else. You will never be happy if you continue to live up to others standards.

4. You really need to think about the way that you treat people. I can see you one day ending up being alone and all by yourself because of the way you treat people. You have a nasty attitude at times and you better watch out because you are really hurting the people that care the most about you. Before you know it you will be all alone.

5. I am amazed at how much you have matured. It's hard to believe that you are the person that you are today. You should be very proud of who you have grown up to be. Don't let anyone tell you different. Don't hide yourself anymore. You should just reveal your true self and you will see who your true friends are.

6. You really have a good head on your shoulders. I feel like you really don't need the advice that you are always seeking from me. You usually know what you want to do and what is best for you. I think you just need the reassurance, but sometimes it is alright to go with your gut. You are a very smart person. I see a bright future for you.

7. Friends like you are pretty hard to come by. You truly have one of the best spirits and hearts that I have seen in the many people that I have come across. You are destined for great things. I knew from the moment that I saw you that we were going to be good friends. I was attracted to your personality from the moment I first talked to you. Great people like you are hard to find and I appreciate our friendship.

8. If someone would have told me a couple years ago that we would be cool I would have laughed in their face. I thought you were a big dork when I first met you. LOL, but I have now come to realize that you are a complicated person. Not a bad complicated, but an interesting complicated. I guess I would best describe you as a dynamic person.

Okay I was going to do 10 but I only feel like doing 8. No one but me knows who these comments are directed to. Could one of them be for you. I can tell you this, that each comment is for a different person. The 8 people are people who I consider to be my friends.

I am America's Nightmare...