So last night I...

So last night I wrote my dad a letter. It's actually the second letter I wrote him. The first one was a thank you letter for the birthday card he sent me. The actual first birthday card I can remember. It meant a lot to me. See its those little things that mean more than anything. People sometimes misconstrue what those who grew up without a father want from them. I think I speak for most when I say that most kids growing up only care about the little things. I never have demanded money or anything. Heck I knew he wasn't rich so I understood that i wouldn't be getting the finer things in life from him. All I wanted was someone to look up to and someone who loved me.

In the letter I just let him know what was going on in my life. It was like writing to a stranger. The even stranger part was addressing it to a prison. Oh well, everyone can't have Cliff Huxtable as a father. It makes me feel good though that we are having some form of communication. It's a line that needed to be opened and I can only wait and see what happens from there.

I have talked many times with many friends about our absent fathers. We joke about them being dead beats and worthless. Even resorting to calling them "sperm donors". Even though we are only joking one thing we all want is just someone who shows that they care.

If you listen to most older adults they will say that our generation is doing a great deal of damage to the black race. Well I have to disagree with them. I'm not saying we don't have our faults. I truly believe that the black race biggest problem began a generation before mines. That's when a number of black males abandoned their families. Many black families began to deteriorate and now a lot of us are going up in single parent homes. It's a tragedy but its the truth. With a larger number of us going to college and getting degrees hopefully we can change this fact.

My father gets out of jail in a month. I think him, my sister, and I will sit down and have a long discussion about many things. I told him I felt it was necessary. I guess I will have to wait to see if it happens. I am hoping for a better future with him. We both can't change the past and we need to move on.

I am America's Nightmare...