Someone has a birthday coming up...

That someone is me! My birthday is on Wednesday. It's exciting that it's coming up. Not sure if I will be doing anything special that day but it will be fun to just celebrate another wonderful year in my life.

Well my mom call's me yesterday and is like you got a card. I was like for what? She went on to tell me that it was a birthday card from my father! Well some of you are probably wondering why that is a surprise. Well my father has been nonexistent in my life. He has never done much for me. A couple years ago he gave me 50 dollars for some odd reason. Not sure why but he hasn't ever done anything for my sister and me. Well he sent my sister and me both a card. I am actually surprised that he took time out of his day to send one. I guess when you are in jail you really have a lot of free time on your hand. Apart of me wishes he wasn't such a dead beat and could be apart of my life. I have always kidded myself thinking he was going to get his life together and potentially take care of his responsibilities. So far I have been wrong, but you never know. He did call me once last year to congratulate me on my graduation from undergrad and tell me how proud he was. I told him that I would like it if he could make it to next graduation being that he wasn't at this one. He then went on to explain that he couldn't promise anything. Not a real surprise there. This year for my graduation he will be in prison once again. He claims that his recent relapse was due to my grandmother's (his mom) and my aunt's (his sister) death. I still hold out hope that one day he will turn his life around. It could be false hope, but who knows. Deep down inside I wish there was something I could do to change him, but I doubt its possible.

Those of you that know me and are close to me know that I don't talk about my father at all. Mostly due to embarrassment that he hasn't done anything for me. I always have prayed that when I become a father that I am nothing like him. I could never see myself abandoning my kids. I would want to take care of my responsibilities. Oh well though, I have the best mother in the whole entire world. That's all that matters. I love ya Mom and couldnt' have asked for a better one.

Until next time I am America's Nightmare...